ok, I just need to get something out, and this is the only place where I seem to be able to lay out my thoughts and not be judged because of them… I seem to be having one of those weeks. Sunday, I broke up with my boyfriend. You know the one, the loving, caring, perfect one. Needless to say, that was rough. It just came to a point where I realized that I just don’t love him in a way that I should. I love him as a person, but not as a lover… and I need to be able to stay in a relationship for me as well as the other person, not just for the other person, and that’s what I found I was doing. So, I ended it. And now, to make things worse, his aunt is in the hospital with cancer, and I don’t think she’ll last long. He’s extremely upset, as I would be, and feels as if he has no one except me. I feel like I need to concentrate on my feelings first, that I can’t be there for him unless I get over us. But at the same time, I feel like I can’t just abandon him at this point… I mean, he came right out and said he needed me. That he needed my help.. how can you deny someone that? And if she does die, I will have to be there for him. I mean, if I’m not… what kind of person will that make me? But at the same time.. I really wish I didn’t have to deal with it. Am I wrong in saying that? That is one of the things that has been making this week unbearable. The other happened the same Sunday I broke up with my boyfriend. My uncle’s girlfriend, Annie, decided to tell me off for joking around with my uncle. Joking around with him in a way that him and I have always joked around, sense I can remember. And not only did she tell me off, she did it in front of the whole family. A couple weeks prior, I had told my uncle that he was “gaining a little weight” and he “might wanna hand over that plate of cake to me”, as a joke, the way him and I always have joked. He laughed, and tried to think of something to say, like he normally does. She had said to me that it wasn’t lady-like to speak in such a manner, and that I am19 now, and I must act my age. That really upset me, and when I got home I cried because I thought that maybe my uncle had gone home and told her that he didn’t like it anymore. My mom said that it was ridiculous, and that she doesn’t know what had gotten in to Annie, and that I should just ignore it because if Uncle Dave didn’t like it, he would have let either me or my mom know. So, I ignored it, and continued what I was doing. On Sunday, when I began joking around with my uncle like I usually do, and always have done, she cut in and told me that it wasn’t lady like, and how her and I have had this conversation before. That was it… I’m not the kind of person to just sit and take something like that… so, I had said to her that this is how he and I have always talked to each other, and that it’s not a big deal. I wasn’t rude; because I was brought up to respect people unless they give me a reason not to, and so far I had felt that she had given me no reason to disrespect her. Then she had told me that it has to stop because she doesn’t like it and I am a lady and that’s not how ladies speak in public. Now, I don’t know about you, but once someone tells me how to speak to MY uncle, and how to act in MY family environment, I get a little pissed. So, respect was gone. I had told her that I am only 19 (at which she replied that you’re considered an adult at 18) and that even so, so adults not joke around too? I continued by saying that this is my uncle, and this is how we communicate, that she had never seen me grow up with him, but we have always communicated in this manner… she then stated that she had been in this family for 2 years, and she didn’t like it. I’m sorry, but in order to be in a family, you have to be married to someone in it, or biologically brought in. Not just a random girlfriend. I didn’t say that, because I thought that would be crossing the line to her side- childish. So, instead I told her very calmly that she can’t just walk in and expect everything to change because you don’t like it, and at that point I had got up and left, because it was clear that she wasn’t going to stop. Was I wrong in saying those things? Am I wrong to still be extremely mad and upset at her? I don’t feel that way, and at this point, if I never see her again it will be too soon. Something I don’t think Annie fully understands is this: my family is a very close-knit family. We will stand up for each other at all costs, no matter what. And most importantly: if you insult one of us, you insult all of us. My family doesn’t consist of childish assholes, so they will be civil to her, and for the most part won’t go out of their way to make her feel unwelcome, however, she just dug herself a hole that will be extremely hard to get out of.
I wish her luck.
